Lieutenant Ryan Milarno (Deep Space Five)

Exemplary Courage Medal

We see courage as someone who protects others by extraordinary deeds whilst in battle. I would like to use this award to signify that this battle was one man's own, against his past and how he is planning his future. He has shown bravery and fortitude, whilst sinking to the lowest low and though still struggling, is coming to terms with his past, in a most courageous manner Dr Ryan Milarno (Lieutenant) has worked tirelessly to combat the disease known as "Barons" disease that affected all Bajorans on Deep Space 5 who came into contact with the "Boaorans". Finally, an innoculation was found, but Milarno was not well. Through a series of posts, it turned out that Ryan had been surgically altered as a child, from Bajoran to look human. Sample Posts: POST 1 Station Day 2 - 18.00hrs - Dr. Milarno's Quarters ON: Ryan was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He hadn't noticed that his old white t-shirt that he had wrapped around his bloody hand was almost covered in blood. It hurt so badly, but his facial expression was blank. Chelsea sounded the chime outside Ryan's quarters. It was a formality she didn't really need to do, because after last night, and this morning, it was unlikely that he would have objected, but she did it anyway. Waiting for an answer, she stood in the corridor. As the moments ticked by she began to wonder if he'd gone out, and maybe she should just contact him on the comm. Then the moments turned to minutes, so she did. =^= Adams to Milarno =^= She said, flicking her badge and perching herself with her back to the wall. Ryan brought his free hand up and tapped his commbadge. =^= Yeah...come in, if that was you...if it wasn't what is the problem? =^= he said quietly. ~Problem? ~ Chelsea looked confused and came into the quarters. "You okay?" she called across, not immediately being able to find him in the living areas. Trying the bedroom she put her head round the open door, and laughed "Booooo!" Grinning at him like a Cheshire cat until she caught sight of how pale he was and the bright scarlet, blood soaked ball where his hand should be. Chelsea screamed out in horror. "Ryan!! What the hell?" Ryan looked at her. "It's just a cut Chelsea, I just got mad that's all" he spoke with no emotion whatsoever. Chelsea recognised the signs of shock setting in, both types. "**********" she swore at herself. "I should never have let you go alone!" She scrambled into her med kit and gave him a shot of mar-adrenaline with fructose and immediately set up an i/v to replace his lost blood fluids. Then she got out a regenerator and began to unwrap his hand from the t-shirt, very gently, still cursing herself bitterly. Ryan grabbed the regenerator with his free hand and took it out of her hand and threw it across the room. He shook his head. "No...I...just leave it..." "Why?" Chelsea sat down on the edge of the bed, tears welling in her eyes. "Is it so awful to be half Bajoran?" she misunderstood his pain at his newfound situation. "No" he took her hand, trying to reassure her. "It's not that...I just...I don't know who I am anymore, I really don't, and it's nothing to do with being half Bajoran Chels...I'm so angry right now..." "Oh!" she said, not really understanding. "I'm sorry, I misunderstood." She had that bit right at least. "Who are you angry with? Or is it more a case of what? Cos I hope it's not yourself!" she was really worried. Ryan nodded. "Yeah I am a little angry with myself...how could I NOT know?!?! And I'm angry with my parents, the stupid ******* why have they left it this long without telling me?!" he got angry. "Are you surprised I did this?" he asked. "You're crazy... how can you ask how you didn't know? How could you know what *different* would feel like? You've always felt like *you* so you can't be angry that you didn't *know* that wasn't how Terrans feel...... if there really *is* a difference to be recognised at all!" she stopped for breath at last. "I *do* understand you being angry that your parents didn't tell you though, but I was thinking about that too!" Chelsea really had *tried* to put herself in his place in her quiet moments over the past hour. "My mother said that during the occupation the Bajorans tried to protect their children from the Cardassians by sending them away on any freighter or ship that would take them, and that some people had to sell all they had to pay for passage for their children." She looked sad. "I remember thinking how awful to be sent away with strangers of different races, and having to make a life for yourself, away from your family and your own race but with no one to help you, I thought it would be better to stay under occupation and I said so, but my mother said I shouldn't say that, because I didn't understand how terrible it was." Chelsea thought of her mother and her wisdom and wished she was here now. She tried to think what she would say. "Perhaps your parents wanted to find another way to protect you?" Chelsea was guessing wildly, but it seemed to have a slim chance of making sense. "So..." he frowned. "They gave me the look of a human...I mean the dates are correct...I was born well before the occupation was over..." he shook his head. "Maybe...I dunno" "If they had done that, it would have been hard to find a time to tell you the truth.... maybe they just never got the chance?" Chelsea suggested, anxiously looking at his blood-soaked hand wrapped in the t-shirt. "Can I do something with that now please?" she begged. He shook his head. "You can do something with it...the old fashioned way, as in cloth and water..." "That's the idea..." he said quietly. "I don't understand" she looked lost. "What's the point? Why must you punish yourself? You haven't done anything wrong!" "I need to feel that pain right now...I can't explain it Chelsea" Shaking her head in distress, her brow furrowed with worry for him, Chelsea got up and fetched a bowl of water and some cloth. She tore the cloth into strips and bathed his lacerated hand, wincing as she touched the torn flesh. Eventually, she had cleaned the wounds and insisted on spraying the area with an anti-septic so that even if he must feel the pain of the injuries, at least he wouldn't get septicaemia. To be continued/..... OFF A Joint Post Between: Dr. Ryan Milarno Chief Medical Officer - DS5 and Dr. Chelsea Adams Assistant Medical Officer - DS5 POST 2 Identity Crisis Pt 2 (JP x 2) Station Day 2 - 18.25hrs - Dr. Milarno's Quarters ON: When she had finished, her stomach was in so many knots from having been forced to inflict more pain on him by applying water and wiping blood away, that she went into the bathroom and threw up. She sat on the bathroom floor, totally bewildered, and when she felt steadier, she got into the sonic shower which she switched to water and leaned heavily against the side, allowing the warmth and softness to wash everything away for a while, until she felt better. Ryan felt bad and walked into the bathroom, and leaned against the door of the shower. "I'm sorry..." he told her. "It's not your fault" Chelsea turned the water off and put her hand against his, the polytransplating between them. "None of this is your fault!" she tried to convince him, blowing drips of water off her face softly as her hair dripped it all down her. "Maybe not...but..." he fought back the tears and stood. "I'll let you...uh...get dried and...stuff..." he said and started walking. Chelsea sensed his anger was subsiding; she got out of the shower quickly and snatched a towel to wrap around her. As she followed him into the bedroom, trying to catch him up, she didn't have time to reach for a second towel for her hair, so she was dripping everywhere as she finally reached him and took hold of his arm. "Ryan?" she said gently, turning him to face her. He looked at her for a second, his eyes shining, glazed over. Ryan couldn't keep his look on one thing as he struggled with his emotions. He finally broke and put his head against her shoulder, crying. Chelsea put her arms around him, pushing her wet hair back over her shoulder and holding him close to her without a word, just letting him get it all out. Finally when his sobs subsided she gently kissed the side of his temple and murmured softly. "I love you, and it wouldn't matter to me if you were half Xindi. You're still the same person inside, Ryan." "I hope so...I really do..." he said as he saw the ridges on his nose. He put his fingers to it. "I don't want to change..." "Tell you what. I'll get you to surgically remove my ridges, then it'll look as if you're just holding them for me for a while?" she grinned. "Well...that is a really good idea...but only for a little while, then I'd have to tell people..." Chelsea grinned. "Yeah but by then, they might have guessed! Especially seeing that male Bajoran's have one more ridge than females, and they might add them up!" Ryan frowned, brought his finger up to his nose and counted them, then counted hers. "Yeah....right...but it could still work" he smiled a little. She shrugged and put her arms up around his neck. Pulling him down towards her, she kissed the bridge of his nose where the ridges were. Slipping back into his arms she placed another kiss on his lips, gently, testing to see if he wanted to be left alone. His lips touched hers and they kissed passionately. Moments later Ryan stepped away and looked in the mirror frowning at himself. "On a sexy level..." he smirked. "What do you think?" he asked. "Drop dead gorgeous!" she declared and dropped the towel she was wrapped in. He saw the towel falling in the mirror and his eyes widened with a grin and he turned his head, holding his bandaged hand. "Was that on purpose or accident?" he asked smirking. "Ooooops" she said, looking not in the least bit bothered that it had fallen, nor making any attempt to pick it up. Ryan smiled, and winked as he sat down onto the bed, summoning her over. Chelsea turned her back and went to the side, picking up a hairbrush. She strolled back to the bed on the opposite side to him and sat down, making a drama of brushing her hair out. With her back to him, he wouldn't be able to see her smirking. Ryan sighed quietly and shook his head. *Women!!* He thought. "Done yet?" he asked. "Done what?" she asked. "Brushing your hair...cause I have something else in mind" he said as he unzipped his uniform... Ryan took off the upper half of his uniform completely off and stood up behind Chelsea, putting his arms around her. His chest pressed against her back as he took the hairbrush out of her hand. Chelsea let go of the hairbrush way too easily and snuggled back into his arms. "I thought you'd never ask!" she muttered taking hold of his wrists and wrapping his arms tighter around her. She turned her head so that she could reach his cheek and planted a loud, resounding kiss on it, grinning smugly at him. "I didn't ask anything..." he laughed a little. "Jeez...these really feel strange..." he said as he squished his nose, leading her back to the bed as he did. "Is it true that Bajoran men are better in bed?" she asked with a mock serious look on her face as she began to assist him with getting rid of the rest of his clothes. "Well...with this revelation...we'll find out...might be even better than before" he shrugged. "Not possible!" she declared with a huge grin. Ryan laughed. "Well..." he said as he sat on the bed, pulling her down aswell. "We will find out" he smirked. OFF: A Joint Post Between: Dr. Ryan Milarno Chief Medical Officer - DS5 and Dr. Chelsea Adams Assistant Medical Officer - DS5